andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

(via finleycannotdraw)

ekjohnston:

ghostly-harmless:

ghostly-harmless:

maddera11:

the-unseelie-court-official:

the-unseelie-court-official:

the-unseelie-court-official:

the-unseelie-court-official:

The feminine urge to walk into the woods never to return.

The masculine urge to walk into the desert to never return.

The androgynous urge to walk into the ocean to never return.

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For the oysters.

I can’t believe australian prime minister harold holt was nonbinary

hold on I gotta google something

I probably could’ve pieced that one together myself tbh

May the sea return him.

(via pendragontrash)

jenjensd:

jenjensd:

cryptoidantagonist:

cryptoidantagonist:

cryptoidantagonist:

cryptoidantagonist:

babblingbranches:

clitfisto:

clitfisto:

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

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I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

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(via pendragontrash)

inhejghafa:

Kaz shrugged. “Kill us, and you’ll never find Kuwei.”
Van Eck appeared to consider this. Then he stepped back. “Guards to me!” he shouted. “Kill everyone but Brekker!”
Kaz knew the instant he made his mistake. They’d all known it might come to this. He should have trusted his crew. His eyes should have stayed trained on Van Eck. Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.
And Van Eck saw it. He blew on his whistle. “Leave the others! Get the money and the girl.”

SIX OF CROWS, Chapter 45

(via finleycannotdraw)

exeggcute:

exeggcute:

what I wouldn’t give to have the gastric constitution of a nine-year-old again. like you know when you’re in grade school and you’re like okay I’m gonna have some gushers and pizza and one of those dubious chalky grocery store cookies and then go run around with my friends! and now as an adult if I eat the wrong brand of peanut butter I have to lie down for an hour

seeing people in the notes who are like “it’s a good thing I can still eat whatever I want 😇” and they’re like, 19… I was you once. and in a couple years you might start to suspect that your favorite fast food joint is giving you mild food poisoning every time you eat there. they’re not. it’s the milkshakes. go buy some lactase pills.

(via pendragontrash)

phoenixyfriend:

I feel like a good shorthand for a lot of economics arguments is “if you want people to work minimum wage jobs in your city, you need to allow minimum wage apartments for them to live in.”

“These jobs are just for teenagers on the weekends.” Okay, so you’ll use minimum wage services only on the weekends and after school. No McDonald’s or Starbucks on your lunch break.

“They can get a roommate.” For a one bedroom? A roommate for a one bedroom? Or a studio? Do you have a roommate to get a middle-wage apartment for your middle-wage job? No? Why should they?

“They can live farther from city center and just commute.” Are there ways for them to commute that don’t equate to that rent? Living in an outer borough might work in NYC, where public transport is a flat rate, but a city in Texas requires a car. Does the money saved in rent equal the money spent on the car loan, the insurance, the gas? Remember, if you want people to take the bus or a bike, the bus needs to be reliable and the bike lanes survivable.

If you want minimum wage workers to be around for you to rely on, then those minimum wage workers need a place to stay.

You either raise the minimum wage, or you drop the rent. There’s only so long you can keep rents high and wages low before your workforce leaves for cheaper pastures.

“Nobody wants to work anymore” doesn’t hold water if the reason nobody applies is because the commute is impossible at the wage you provide.

(via isilverandcold)

pixiemage:

shithole-state:

cyberfreakdragon:

laikaflash:

olderthannetfic:

A few of these are probably referring to the date posting bug thing, but AAAAAAAAAAAH!

I beg of all the younger folks on Ao3 to understand two things:

  1. There is no algorithm on that site.
  2. Unlearn the attention-hungry bullshit that social media has taught you.

from someone who’s been on ao3 for 5+ years: don’t do this. don’t repost your fics (youll lose your comments and kudos if you do) and don’t change the posting date (people can tell and it’s tacky). it’s not worth keeping your fics on the front page. if you tag correctly people can and will use the very competent search function to find your work even if it’s YEARS old. if youre writing something ppl want to read they will look through their favourite tags to find it. having high interaction, being posted recently, or posting at “peak” times won’t get you any more hits bc that’s not how anyone uses the site.

IT IS AN ARCHIVE NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA SITE

IF YOU WANT TO PROMOTE IT YOU MAKE A POST ON OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITES BY OFFERING A SUMMARY AND A LINK

IT. IS. AN. ARCHIVE

TAG YOUR SHIT PROPERLY AND PEOPLE WILL FIND IT AND READ IT IF INTERESTED

There are FOUR WAYS to get people to read your stories, and none of them include relying on a nonexistent algorithm to get them to interested parties.

  1. Choose a good title! And yes, there is such a thing as a good title, though I’ll admit it’s rare for me to see a bad one. Even something as simple as “The one where Martyn forgets the milk” is enough to get me wondering what kind of story earned a title like that. Sometimes a song lyric works super well if it fits the vibe of your story, and sometimes coming up with something of your own might work better. Sometimes making a joke in the title draws more attention if you’ve written a story that will make people laugh, and sometimes choosing a one- or two-word phrase that catches the eye is all it takes. (If I see a fic called “Poppies, Princes, and Paranoia” I might just get curious enough to wonder what in the world is in that story.)
  2. Write a summary! Please. Please, for the love of god, give your story a summary. Every time I come across a fic that says “haha I’m bad at summaries, just read the story lolz” my first instinct is to move on. By saying you’re Bad At Summaries, you’re also implying that you’re bad at writing, and any potential reader won’t take the time to click on your fic and give it a chance when it looks like the author isn’t confident in their own work. You don’t have to write a masterpiece in the summary section. You can say “Tim has a no good, very bad day. Luckily his partner is there to cheer him up.” And look! Ta-da! Summary! :D It’s short, sweet, and to the point, and it’s miles better than saying you don’t know how to write one. OR! OR, if you don’t like that either, then literally take a short and interesting chunk from the story itself and drop it in the summary box. Look! You’re doing great! ^^ THAT will hook a potential reader far more than laughing about how “bad” you think you are at writing summaries in general. Self-depreciation may work for a social media post, but it doesn’t work to sell your writing.
  3. Clearly tag your work! Other folks above me have already said this, but putting clear and relevant tags on your story will ALWAYS bring new readers to your story. Many people on Ao3 search specifically by tag to better narrow the massive sea of stories they’ll need to choose from. SO tag relevant ships and characters (preferably only the ones that are a primary focus in your fic), tag the proper fandoms, define if it’s “hurt/comfort” or “angst” or “fluff” or “crack”, and add the main plot concepts where needed. (For example, I’m writing an Amnesia AU, so I tagged it as both Amnesia and Temporary Amnesia, because while the amnesia is a lingering factor in the plot, it WILL NOT BE later, and some people are more likely to read if they KNOW the conflict in the plot will be resolved.) And while I understand not wanting to tag certain things for spoiler reasons (though you should add those once they’re revealed in a chapter), I DO RECOMMEND tagging relevant warnings, as well as specifying whether the ending will be a GOOD one or a BAD one. Some readers are more or less likely to click on a story based on that alone. I’ve specifically taken a chance on a sad-sounding story before because the author said it would end happily, and more often than not I wasn’t disappointed! I wouldn’t have read a sad story otherwise! Tag that shit!
  4. JUST KEEP WRITING! People will stick around for a good story! It’s true that quality of writing will make a good fic stand apart from a great one, and that comes down to skill. That’s not to say people won’t read a story that’s written by a less skilled author, because if you tag and title and summarize your story well, you’ll still draw in readers, and most people will stick around to enjoy an interesting story whether it’s 2k works or 20k. But the more you write (and the more you READ), the more you’ll learn and the more you’ll improve. Don’t give up just because you’re getting less attention than the next writer. If you keep working on your craft, you’ll be right up there with them soon enough. I’m in my late 20’s and it took me years to get to where I am. I’m not foolish enough to pretend I don’t know I’m a quality writer, but I also refuse to call it “talent” because it’s much more than that. It’s a skill that I honed over years of writing and storytelling. I learned from my peers and I took inspiration from bigger and better writers to work my way up to where I am now. So don’t write just to get hits and kudos, write to tell a good story! And when the comments come in, though they may start small, just know that those people are seeing the passion you’re putting into your work…and they’re just a small taste of the kind of joy you’ll be able to share if you stick with your writing.
  5. (BONUS: Share your fics on Tumblr and other sites. If you’re worried that they won’t get seen on Ao3 without help, then feel free to boost awareness by dropping a link and some info elsewhere. I do this every time I post something new, because I know that part of my audience lives on Tumblr! So don’t hesitate to utilize the platforms you’ve got. Tag it properly on here and you’ll get a few more reads from folks who are looking for it!)

(via pendragontrash)

agoldenplum:
“puckish-thoughts:
“THERE IT IS AGAIN! THERE IT FUCKING IS! i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!! THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!! BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED...

agoldenplum:

puckish-thoughts:

THERE IT IS AGAIN!  THERE IT FUCKING IS!  i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!!  THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!!  BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING.  THIS SHIT IS REAL.  THIS IS REAL SHIT.  SHIT THAT HAPPENED.

Blackundertaker for the link. So kotaku did an interview with a butch of people to track down the people connected with the LAN party.

From the article.

The picture in question originates from Mason, Michigan, where a close group of friends who liked to build personal computers and organize LAN parties grew up. Through Reddit and email, we were able to get in touch with a large portion of the group, as well as obtain verification and additional images…


For the Mason alumni, the night they taped Drew Purvis to the ceiling was just an average day, another LAN party with friends.

“It was still early in the day and the LAN had already become fractured,” said Nick Wellman, another LAN goer. “There were about 10 of us there, and we were already playing three, four different games. Tyler was looking around and said, ‘I think you can duct tape someone to that I-beam.’”

At this point, the teens gathered the necessary supplies, bought duct tape on a friend’s employee discount and had the tallest attendee, Brian, hold the subject, Drew, aloft while the rest taped him up.

What you see in the now-iconic photo is actually the group’s second attempt to suspend their friend from the ceiling with duct tape. After about 10 minutes, the tape digging into his sides, Drew asked to be cut down. They revised their plan, adding pillows, and strapped him back up. Once on the beam, someone else had the idea to stack some tables up so Drew could still play on his computer.

“That is the funniest part about the picture,” Nick told us. “Gaming from the beam was a complete afterthought.”

Drew lasted about two hours suspended above his comrades before retiring to the ground (turns out a duct tape cocoon runs hot).

(via pendragontrash)


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